Should You Join Every Tech Talk? Understanding Entitlement, FOMO, and the True Value of Meetings

There’s a non-stop flurry of meetings in today’s engineering world.

Tech talks. Brown bag sessions. Demos. Office hours. All-hands. The kind of calendar chaos that makes you wonder:

Should I even be joining all these? Am I missing out if I don’t?

It’s a valid question. And honestly, one that most of us don’t answer intentionally. We either autopilot into joining everything or disengage altogether, brushing it off as noise. But neither is sustainable. Because the real answer lies somewhere in between.

Let’s first acknowledge the fatigue. That mental weight of having back-to-back sessions, even when most of them aren’t critical to your day-to-day. There’s also the subtle pressure:

What will my manager think if I skip? What if I’m the only one not in that call? 

So we join. Even if just for the namesake.

But here’s a better approach—one that’s worked for me and many others:

Yes, make the attempt to join. As many as you reasonably can. No, don’t force yourself to stay unless there’s a reason to stay back.

And that I call it ENTITLEMENT.

Entitlement is that moment in the session—often around the mid-point—where you catch a real takeaway. Something that clicks. Something that could actually impact your work. Something you can apply right away, or use it in the short term or at least add to your plan for long term later. It could be anything. A framework. A mental model. A line of code. A product insight.

"Ah. That one slide just made this entire talk worth it."

That’s your entitlement. Once you’ve got it, you’ve earned the right to leave the meeting unless your presence is warranted and expected.

You are not being disrespectful. You’re being intentional. You joined with purpose. You took value. And now, you move on—unless you’re genuinely curious to stay.

Sometimes, that entitlement comes early. Sometimes, not until the end. But your job is to stay just long enough to find it—or confirm there isn’t any. That way, you’re no longer attending for your management or merely to show your “visibility.”

You’re attending for yourself.

"I'm here for insight. Not for attendance."

And when that happens, something shifts. You stop viewing these talks as a burden. You stop feeling like you're falling behind if you skip a session. You stop showing up just for the checkbox. Instead, you develop your own rhythm—joining, scanning, extracting, and contributing when needed.

In the end, these sessions are tools. And like any tool, their value depends on how and when you use them. So use them wisely. Seek your entitlement. And know when to move on.

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👇 Zooming Out: From Team Talks to Trailblazer Conferences

Internal meetings are one piece of your growth. But there’s a wider world of learning, inspiration, and community waiting beyond your team and org.If you want to learn how to make the most of external events, user groups, and community meetups, head here next:

→ Beyond the Agenda: Making Conferences, Trailblazer Meetups, and Community Events Truly Matter

Discover how to extract value—not just excitement—from events that promise a lot.